This Is It
by MoshiMoshiQueen
Summary: *SLF* *Read warning inside before continuing* Sixteen and Pregnant with Sakura’s Final Decision. This is the story of teen pregnancy and abortion. You want the real stuff… this is it. S+S
1. Default Chapter

The following content has to do with abortion. For religion matters I must warn you all before hand. If you're religion does not support the belief of abortion than please do not flame my fanfic. The matters are emotional and I have tried to keep my beliefs completely out of this situation, which I am to write about, but if my beliefs mix into this writing than please do not criticize me, because your own beliefs are not the same as mine. Thanks for your time.  
  
  
  
- Moshi-san   
  
  
  
Now that the warning is over… I guess you would all like me to explain why I am starting a new fanfic instead of completing or updating the others I have started… I saw a powerful episode of my favorite show, Ever Wood, (I don't own it so don't sue) and it talked about abortion. The episode touched me so much that I decided to write a fanfic on it… many pregnant woman have to deal with the decision of getting an abortion, and I thought maybe the issues should be out and the open.  
  
  
  
Before you begin reading, again, please do not flame me… I am not naming my opinion on the issue unless you, the readers, would like me to. I am simply using facts, statistics; others true stories, and information I come across… if I do state my opinion than I have not meant to… I am trying to look at the issue (meaning abortion) in many angles… I have decided on the angle, and for plot purposes I am not going to reveal the angle. (Meaning is the character I choose is going to have an abortion or not) So, please know that the character I choose might have an abortion… than again the character might not… please, realize that I have warned you.   
  
  
  
Also again… some religions are against abortion… and I realize that some of you might want to flame with your opinions (mostly your religionist opinions) shouting out at me. In plain terms I don't want any of you to be flaming me, because you think that my belief is wrong. I know that most religions state that other religions are wrong, but please do not… wait, I'm sorry. I should not have said that… let me rephrase… don't flame me, because of your belief or mine.  
  
  
  
I will try to keep my belief out of this story… but, again, if it gets mixed in… it is not my fault.  
  
  
  
Now that I think I have covered every angle of the warnings… please, do read on.  
  
  
  
(Most sites on the Internet are very opinionated on this matter… I have tried to check out sites that see this matter from ALL SIDES. I hope you do that same.)   
  
  
  
Sites: ht tp:// ww w.reli gious toler an ce.o rg/a bor ti on.h tm (With out the spaces)  
  
This Is It  
  
By MoshiMoshiQueen  
  
Beta Reader Sithanas  
  
~Thoughts~  
  
"Talking"  
  
(Me Talking)  
  
  
  
Kinomoto Sakura is a healthy, lovely young woman the mere age of sixteen. Her honey brown hair is cut short just above her shoulders, and her bright jade eyes are a sight to behold.  
  
  
  
She is a tenth grader at a local high school near her small town of Tomoeda. (Took me forever to find the correct spelling of that… sighs) Like most young woman her age she loves to hang out with friends, crush over guys, cheerlead, and the many more activities of any normal teenager.   
  
  
  
There is one thing that makes Sakura different from most of the other high school girls… the fact that Sakura is pregnant.  
  
  
  
This is her story, her experience, and her choice. Turn back now if you want… read ahead if you choose.

  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  


  
"Sakura-chan, come on we have cheerleading practice. What are you doing on the ground?" asked a lively young woman with long, purplish hair.  
  
"Tomoyo-chan, do you think that everyone goes to heaven?"  
  
"I guess. Is this about your mother?"  
  
  
  
Sakura only shook her head. "I was only thinking. I'll be at practice in a moment, okay?"  
  
"Sakura, if you want to talk, you can always come to me. You know that, right?"  
  
"Thanks, Tomoyo."  
  
"What are friends for?"  
  
  
  
Sakura watched the young girl walk away cheerfully, and she smiled bitterly. ~She has nothing to worry about except boys and her nails getting broken. ~  
  
Sakura looked up towards the azure sky, and the clouds seemed to smile down at her, looking like giant teddy bears and bunnies.  
  
  
  
She tried to be happy… she tried to act like herself, but the fact was she had changed. She couldn't be sure if it was for the better or the worse, but she had indeed changed.  
  
  
  
It hadn't even been a whole week since she found out the she was pregnant… tears came to her eyes just thinking about it. Thinking about what happened.

~No, I have to be strong… but, how can I? I'm sixteen and pregnant… what am I going to do? ~  
  
  
  
She kept saying the same thing over and over in her mind, but she still couldn't believe this had happened to her… she couldn't believe that this wasn't a dream. This was no hallucination, no delirium… this was life and so far it seemed like a bitch.   
  
  
  
^Flash Back ^  
  
  
  
"Kinomoto-san?"  
  
  
  
Sakura stood up quickly. "It's positive, isn't it?"  
  
The doctor nodded slowly. "You have a few options. Abortion is one of them."  
  
"My family… they won't understand this."  
  
"Our infirmary doesn't do the procedure… you will have to go to the nearest one that does. It is four hours away… that is if you decide to…"  
  
"I'm sixteen… sixteen years old! How could this happen?! How? I took the pills… how?!"  
  
"This is going to be a very hard decision. I have phone numbers of people that you can talk to about this."  
  
  
  
Sakura sat down hard, her hair covering her dull green eyes as tears streamed down her face. Her soft whisper echoed loud in the room. "How could this happen to me...?"  
  
  
  
^End of Flash Back^  
  
  
  
Sakura touched the piece of paper in her pocket… it was the paper with the numbers of people she could talk to… one was the counselor at her school.  
  
  
  
She wanted this to be hush-hush, but she didn't know what to do… she didn't know what to think… she didn't know anything.  
  
There was a person growing in her… and she was thinking of destroying it without its consent… without ever knowing its feelings, but how could she have it? How could some thing come out of her that was made out of hatred.  
  
  
  
She was thinking about killing a baby… her baby... but, it wasn't only hers…  
  
  
  
~What am I thinking? What am I doing? Abortion? Killing? I… ~  
  
  
  
"Sakura-chan, are you coming?"  
  
  
  
Sakura looked up and saw her best friend standing in front of her. "I don't feel really good, Tomoyo-chan. I think I'm going to skip practice today. Will you tell the coach that I was ill?"  
  
"Sure, Sakura-chan. You do look ill. Do you want me to take you home?"  
  
"I don't want to trouble you. I'm not that ill… it's just my stomach. It's probably just a bug. I'll call you later, ok?"  
  
"If you say so. Hope you feel better, Sakura-chan."  
  
Sakura looked sad as Tomoyo walked away. ~I'm not sure if I can anymore...~  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sakura knocked on a door with bold, white letters that read "Ms. Sato Suzuki".  
  
"Kinomoto-kun. It is a pleasure to see you. Please, do come in."  
  
Sakura clamped her hands together tightly as sweat moistened her palms. "I'm sorry to bother you, but…"  
  
"Don't worry Kinomoto-san, you're not a bother at all."  
  
"My…" Sakura stopped trying to chock out the words with out crying.  
  
  
"My doctor gave me your number, and I… I need your help."  
  
"What for, Sakura?"  
  
"I'm pregnant…" The words didn't seem like her own, but they really did come out of Sakura's mouth. It seemed like the sentence echoed in the room forever, but finally Sato-san spoke.   
  
"Do you know the options?"  
  
Sakura nodded somberly. "I can have the baby and put it up for adoption, I can have it and raise it on my own, I can have an… ab… an abortion…"  
  
Sato-san placed a hand on Sakura's shoulder as she took a deep breath, then continued.  
  
"I… I came to you, because… because, I am thinking about an abortion."  
  
Sato-san nodded, "Is that really what you want?"  
  
"I'm not sure, but… I'm too young to have a baby… I'm not old enough mentally or physically. I wish I could say that I can have this baby, but I can't. I can't. Does this make me a bad person? I'm thinking about killing something inside of me? How horrible can I get?"   
  
~Plus, plus there are others reasons… other things… ~  
  
With those words tears came pouring out of Sakura's eyes. "How horrible can I be?"  
  
Sato-san held Sakura tightly to her as her body shook with sobs. "Sakura-san, you're not horrible. You're not the only one… you're not the only one."  
  
"I wish that would help, but it doesn't… it doesn't make me feel better. It doesn't. I can't have this baby… I can't, but I'm not sure if I can go through with an abortion… I'm not strong enough to have the baby… and I'm not strong enough to have an abortion. What am I going to do?"  
  
"Sakura-san… I want you to take a few days to think this through. You need to think it through completely… to give yourself a few days… maybe even a few weeks. Don't rush this. When you decide, come back here and I'll help you from there."  
  
"What if I can't decide?"  
  
"You will decide… I know you will."  
  
"What if I make the wrong decision?"  
  
"You won't. Take your time, Sakura-san. Take a few days. Don't let any one else's thoughts into your mind. Forget everyone else. This is your decision… forget your family, forget your friends, forget everyone. You alone must make this decision."  
  
"I don't think I can do this alone… I can't."  
  
"You're stronger than you think, Sakura-kun. I know you can do this."  
  
"Can I get help from… from a friend?"  
  
  
  
Sato-san nodded, "You might need one more than ever now… but don't let them make a choice for you."  
  
  
  
Sakura thanked Sato-san… promising her many things, but not knowing at all whether she'd be able to keep them…  
  
  
  
Wouldn't letting someone else make the decision for her be easier? Easier maybe, but the right decision… maybe not.  
  
  
  
Rain fell softly from the once white clouds above the town Sakura knew so well… and the weather fit her mood perfectly.   
  
  
  
It was cold, wet… and bitter. The once sunny day had turned into a gloomy, cold place… and it didn't bother Sakura one bit.  
  
  
  
She stopped in front of a wooden door. Her mind told her to leave, but her body refused to move.  
  
  
  
Her shaking hand hit the door with a soft thud, and the door opened a few moments later to reveal a young man dressed only in a towel, with soft chestnut locks that hid his deep amber eyes.  
  
"Sakura-chan."  
  
"Syaoran-kun… I'm sorry to bother you. Maybe I should leave."  
  
"No, you're never a bother. I was just getting out of the shower anyways. Come in."  
  
  
  
"Syaoran-kun, before I come in… I need to tell you something that you might not like. Please, promise that you won't hate me."  
  
"Sakura-chan, I could never hate you."  
  
"Promise. Please?"  
  
"I promise."  
  
"Thanks… maybe I should stand here and tell you before you let me in."  
  
"Sakura-chan…" Before he could finish, she cut him off.  
  
"Syaoran, I'm pregnant and I'm thinking about having an abortion." She said it quickly… but she knew he heard every word.  
  
He stood there like a statue, mouth open, one hand holding up his towel and the other hand absently running through his hair.  
  
"You hate me."  
  
"I don't hate you, Sakura. I could never hate you."  
  
"Even if I go through with the abortion?"  
  
"Even if you went through with the abortion. Please, come in. You're all wet."  
  
  
  
From that moment Sakura knew that Syaoran would never hate her… he would be the one who would understand her… he was the one…

Authors Notes: No offence to those who think that a normal teenager does not do the things that I listed… many have different opinions and I support that.

Sorry for the language


	2. Green Room, Blue Tears

You're reviews were wonderful. I really never thought so many of you would love this fanfic. I am grateful for all of your reviews. Truly grateful. Forever grateful.

Sorry for the long delay, I have been working hard on editing all of my one-shots and song fics while still trying to update my fanfic Bounty Hunters.

Sincerely thanks to my beta reader. Love ya, Eva-chan!

This Is It

By MoshiMoshiQueen

Beta Reader: Hana no Tenshi

~Thoughts~

"Talking"

(Me Talking)

~*~Scene Change ~*~

Tears sprung from Sakura's jade eyes once more. 

Killing a child. Something living in her. Something growing as she grew.

Not matter how many times Sakura brushed tears from her cheeks still more slid down her pale skin falling lifelessly towards the hard wood floor.

She knew crying made Syaoran feel helpless, but she couldn't help it. Keeping them inside hurt worse than letting them out. 

"I'm a horrible person. I'm a murderer. How can I think about killing my own child. How, Syaoran?"

Syaoran pressed his lips together, making a straight line. He couldn't answer her, she knew this, but she couldn't help, but ask; to voice her words, concerns, complaints… everything.

"I wish I could say that I don't have a choice, but I do and that is what is killing me. Oh, Syaoran what am I to do? If I have a child… I'll feel so guilty that I can't give it the life that it should have… then," Her voice cracked and flattered.

Syaoran hushed her. "Sakura, let's go make some mint tea, ok?"

She silently thanked him from stopping her… she was heading towards depression, heading towards worse things in life.

She wrapped the towel around her body, trying to gain some warmth, and Syaoran touched her shoulder softly. "Come in the back. We'll get you some clothes."

"I-thank you, Syaoran. Thank you."

Despite the happiness her heart felt to have Syaoran beside her, tears sprung from her eyes once more. "Horrible… I'm horrible."

"Sakura, please don't cry."

"I can't help it… the way I have treated you all these year, and you still help me when I'm need someone. You're still here. I don't deserve you. I never did."

"Sakura, you need to stop saying these things. Sakura," He said pulling her to him.

"I hurt you," she said mumbling, since her head was pressed protectively in Syaoran's chest.

"Sakura-"

"Don't tell me I didn't, because I saw the hurt in your eyes all those times… goddamn I hurt you all those times. I choose popularity over friendship. Look where that got me. Damn it. Look where it got me."

"Sakura, you did what most people would have done in your situation."

"I'm not most people. I was so stupid. Why did I? Why?"

"Sakura, everyone makes mistakes. Life makes room for people to make them."

She started to sob. "I don't deserve you."

He pressed his hand at the small part of her back, and brought her closer to him. 

She breathed in his scent. Cinnamon. Just like she remember.

"We can't go back in the past, and change things, Sakura. So why dwell on them?"

"Fortune cookies advice," she said laughing a little.

A smiled reached his lips. "You remembered."

"Hai. How could I forget? Chinese restaurant my fourteenth birthday you and I had a spat and I ended up chopping your lobsters' head off."

"And then we started laughing as it went flying through the air towards a couple who were looking at us weirdly."

"We got over the spat, and opened a fortune cookie…"

"Why dwell on the past. Look forward to your future," they said together laughing jauntily.

"We always said we wouldn't use those fortunes. Now look. We need them."

"More like I need them," Sakura said sitting down on Syaoran's green cotton sheeted bed.

"You always loved green."

"You always loved attention."

"I did not!" she said hotly.

"You did too. No use denying it, Sakura," he said; the smile still visible on his lips.

She pouted slightly. "Fine. I love attention."

"You crave it."

She narrowed her eyes. "I crave it."

He threw some sweats, and a plain green tee shirt at her. "You adore it."

She sighed holding the clothing to her body. "I adore it."

"Hurry and get dressed while I make that tea," he said leaving the room.

"Why did I ever leave you, Syaoran?" she whispered softly.

~*~

Sakura's bare feet hit the cold floor as she reappeared in Syaoran's front room. Her feet instantly hit flush green carpet, and she smiled. Green, just like him to have green carpet.

"You changed this place a lot."

"Felt I needed too."

She snuggled into his couch, and brought a fuzzy blanket to her cold body, of course the blanket was green.

Syaoran watched her, and secretly smiled. God, he had missed her.

Now, she was a child carrying a child. He stopped himself of thinking of a little girl with bright green eyes… it wasn't best to make the child have a face; it would make it harder for Sakura to go through with her plans if the child had a face as horrible and wrong as that might seem.

His smile turned to a frown, and he was about to speak, but the tea screamed.

Sakura opened one eye as Syaoran sat beside her, and handed her a cup of mint tea. A green cup.

For an odd reason Syaoran held a pink one. Sakura blinked, but then the past hit her in the face. That was cup she gave him for Christmas one year. She smiled. He still has it after all this time… all the hurt.

"You kept it."

He looked at her concerned and then looked at the cup. "Yeah, I kept it."

"Why?"

He looked at her his features soft. "Sakura, whose the baby's father?"

Sakura almost dropped the cup. "Father?"

"Yes, the father."

Sakura didn't speak.

"You don't have to tell-"

"I was raped, Syaoran."

Coldness… anger… humiliation… tears… shame… guilt… all sunk in at once.

"Raped."

Your Questions- My Answers

Who's the father? You'll find out soon.

Why haven't you updated your other SLF fanfics? I'm really trying my best. I take on so many things that I can't handle… It's a habit. I really wanted to write this story, 

so I did. Despite my time crunch I'm writing it, because I think this should be addressed… it should be out in the open.

Why wasn't Syaoran really shocked? Oh, he was, but as a friend he didn't want to turn her away to get over his shock.

How do I write so much? Good question. How do I write so much? I haven't got a real specific answer… I just love to write.

How can she be 16 and in the ninth grade? My friend is, but that I cause she was held back. Maybe I should change the grade.

Is there a continuation? Almost always

Need help or opinions? (Mostly answering Eva-chan) Yes, I really do. Your pro-life? Tell me why. You respect getting abortions? Tell me why. Share your opinions. I would love to hear them. Have friends that experienced an abortion? I don't know any one who has… so if someone could tell me how it goes it would really help…. Research can only go so far.

Am I pro-life? *Breaths out* I don't know how people can kill something that is inside them… but, I'm sorry to say I'm not against abortion nor for it. I understand and never judge people who have had abortions… I think of it this way. Your walking down the street… some one grabs you, his breath the stench of alcohol… he throws you around, makes you bleed… then rips your clothes off… he rapes you. You're so scared… he leaves you there to die. You make it out alive… you try to be strong, and then you find out your pregnant… you almost got over being raped… and then all you can think about is the child will have his face… his eyes… his mouth. Yes, I understand that you shouldn't use that against the child… it isn't the child's fault, but if you haven't been raped and got pregnant than you should judge others who have abortions for that reason. As for others who have abortions… have you been in their situation? How can you judge someone? I don't see how people can have abortions, but since I have never been in a situation where I had to make that decision I don't judge them, and anyone who does… I'm sorry you feel that way, but it's your opinion… and this is mine.

Ever Wood is one of your favorite shows? It sure is. I just love Greg… he is so hot. ^_^

Will she have the abortion? To tell you the truth I still haven't decided… I'm trying to make up my mind. Some might beg me for her not to have it, but I will have to decided on my own.  
  



	3. We're One In The Same

Note From My Beta Reader: Well, I just finished doing the next chappies for you (all), and the reviewers will be SHOCKED...lol Ohh well, you guys better review, and you will get to see the next chappies. 

Ja ne! 

Eva-chan

(Thank her! With out her this chapter wouldn't be out. Love ya, Eva-chan!!! Thanks for everything)

Your reviews were amazing… long, incentive, brilliant. I don't know what I would do with out you reviewers. 

This chapter is dedicated to all those who took the time to review and share their opinions.

In this chapter you will realize that not only women are raped, but men also.

Myth of the Day: It is impossible to sexually assault a man.

Wrong!! Men fall victim for the same reasons as women: they are overwhelmed by threats or acts of physical and emotional violence. Also, most sexual assaults that involve an adult male victim are gang assaults.

Usually people tell you to tell an adult, tell someone. I believe that that might not be the right way to go about things. It's often very hard for someone to confess things, such as being raped. If you will not tell someone you can always go visit great sites where people can help, and don't need to know your name.

If you have been raped it's best to try to get some help, and also checked for diseases or pregnancy. Rape does things mentally and physically to a person.

I suggest/and used these sites to help: ht tp: //w ww.rap evi ctimad voca tes. org/

Don't own them so don't use. Don't own the Myths either!! Don't sue! Don't own CCS!

Site I Thought Was Interesting: http: //ww w.i nteracti vetheatre.o rg/resc/jackm.h tm l

Why Check It Out: It's a true story about a guy who raped a girl, and didn't even realize he did it. It touched me, and you should really check it out… if you do review it review and tell me your thoughts about it.

(I don't own it so don't sue!)

This Is It

By MoshiMoshiQueen

Beta Reader: Hana No Tenshi

~Thoughts~

"Talking"

(Author Talking)

Sakura's mouth became dry, and she licked his lips trying to find something to make her lips stop burning. The word echoed through the room taking its homeliness away.

Sakura looked away from Syaoran's face… would he see some dirtied uninnocent trash? Would he see…

Syaoran pushed Sakura's body towards him in a tight hug; a hug that made tears spill over from her eyes.

"I-I didn't tell any one. Oh, god Syaoran. I was so scared. I-I tried to get away, but he had me, and he pinned me. Oh, god."

Sakura felt tears spill down her cheeks. "I feel so dirty still. I can't wash it off, Syaoran. I can't wash it off."

Syaoran felt her go limp in his arms.

"I rubbed and rubbed and still it won't go away. The smell, the feeling… it won't rub off. It's like a horrible scar that won't go away. I-I tried to get away… I tried. He said I deserved it… he said I wanted it."

Sakura's head rested on his shoulder as she poured everything out… as she wept till all of her tears where dried up.

"Maybe I deserved it… maybe I-"

Syaoran grew stiff, and pull away to look her in the eyes. "You didn't deserve that, Sakura. No one deserves that."

"Syaoran, I'm so dirty. I can't come clean! I've tried! You shouldn't even be touching me. Why are you touching me? I'm soiled? I'm- I'm."

Syaoran's lips touched her own, and all tears that weren't dry turned and melted away. Her heart stopped, her brain stopped… everything stopped for that moment.

Syaoran pulled away, and fear was written in his eyes. "Oh, god. Sakura, I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that. I didn't even think."

He stood up quickly. "I didn't think. Damn it. I'm sorry."

He started to pace damning him self to hell. What was he thinking? Kissing her right after she told him… what was going through his mind?

"Syaoran, please hold me again."

He looked towards her. "Sakura, I-"

"Please."

Her body shook, her eyes were puffy… her heart wounded. "I don't want to be afraid for someone to touch me… I thought about this, and I flinch when someone touches me… but, Syaoran I could never flinch when you touch me. He can't take that away from me. He took things from me, but damn it he isn't taking this!"

Tears flew from her jade eyes once more. "You're afraid to touch me now. I see it in your eyes."

"I don't think your dirty, Sakura. It's just I-" His voice was caught in his throat.

Sakura rose. "I guess you need time to think."

She walked towards his door, and felt him grab her wrist. She didn't look at him; couldn't look at him.

"I have been as strong as I can. I never once cried until now. He took things from me. I thought I had things figured out, and then I found out I was pregnant. It took me by the heart, and made it bleed again. I understand if you don't want to touch me… if you don't want-"

"Sakura, I'm touching you now."

She looked up, and caught his eye. "You know what I mean."

"I'm scarred… I'm damaged… I'm trash."

His amber eyes become fierce. "Don't say things like that, Sakura. Don't make your self believe that. Why can't you see that this wasn't your fault? Why can't you see that?"

"Because I don't feel it."

He took her hand in his and pressed it against his heart. "You feel my heart beating, Sakura?"

She nodded, confusion written in her jade pools.

He then pressed her hand to hers. 

"The heart beat is still there. You and me were one of the same. Now, do I look scarred and damaged to you?"

"No, but-" her eyes widened. 

"Oh, Syaoran."

"Sakura, your strong. You represent everything that is innocent in this world, and you always will. Don't let him take that from you."

She didn't speak… she didn't know if she should bring it up. Would it hurt him more if she asked? 

He smiled sadly at her, and she knew he trusted her… she knew that she didn't have to hold her questions back.

"You want to know?"

"I'm not sure if-"

"I was nine."

Oh, god.

Sakura chocked out tearless sobs. "Nine. A child…"

Syaoran held him to her again. 

She looked up at him again. "You were raped… as a child."

His eyes never wavered as he nodded. "We are one in the same, Sakura."

"I never- I didn't know. I-"

"Sakura, I didn't want you to know. It's not that I didn't trust you, but Sakura I didn't want to…"

"To take my mind out the clouds. You can say it, Syaoran. I'm the queen of innocence. Look where that got me. Look where being naïve got me."

"Nothing can stop things like this from happening."

"How did you make it? How are you so strong now?"

"Time… it took time, Sakura. I was where you were years ago… my mother… she didn't look at me as if I was dirty. I think that is what helped me. Just knowing that someone still loved me… loved me no matter what."

"My mother isn't like yours, Syaoran."

"No, no she isn't."

"My family wouldn't be so understanding. I can't make it like you did. I'm not strong like you are."

"Sakura, you are strong… and you can make it like I did. Look at me Sakura."

Amber met Emerald. 

"Does it look like I think you're dirty?"

"No."

"That is because you aren't. We aren't."

He pulled her to him, cradling her in his arms, and she felt limp once again.

"You're strong, Sakura."

She murmured something as she fell asleep.

Shocked, eh? I want people to know that not only girls get raped. Boys get raped just as much as girls do. Boys, like girls, will not tell people that they have been raped most of the time. I made Syaoran tell Sakura, so she would have someone who could relate with her. Most people do not have someone like Syaoran by their side.

Also there are two types of emotion damage signs: Expressed and Controlled.

Sakura is suffering from the Controlled. She often closes herself up, and contains all of her emotions, sits quietly or responds to people in a detached, logical way. But, she also has some signs of Expressed. (Which is normal to have some of both)

Expressed is when someone is aggregated, cries, yells, screams, swears, laughs, and or talks a lot.

If you are wondering which Syaoran had it was Controlled. In most cases men act differently to rape.

I'm trying to make Sakura like a rape… I hate saying the word victim. I'm trying to keep Sakura in character. I'll just say that instead. Victim makes people sound weak when I think that they are strong. I think if someone was raped, and keep going on that they are very strong… heroes in a sense.   


	4. Fresh Air Does Wonders

Here's another chapter of This Is It.

Moshi-san

This chapter is mostly about sexual diseases that can be caught by others through sexual acts. It doesn't matter what type of sexual acts you do; you can still get diseases such as Trichomoniasis, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, Syphilis, Herpes, Genital Warts, AIDS, Hepatitis B Virus, HIV and many others.

DEFINITIONS AT THE BOTTOM

Medicines I named are real (I don't own them so don't sue)

Information of The Day: In the US, about 356,000 cases of gonorrhea are reported each year. More than 12 million people, including 3 million teenagers in the US have STDs. (Sexually transmitter diseases)

Myth of The Day: A person who has really been assaulted will be hysterical.

Wrong: Survivors exhibit a spectrum of emotional responses to assault: calm, hysteria, laughter, anger, apathy, shock. Each survivor copes with the trauma of the assault in a different way.

Discussion of the Day: Adults say that teenagers do not take STDs seriously, and I agree. No one is immune to STDs. In other words DON'T FUCK AROUND. Pretty simple idea. If you are going to mess around then please please please get checked out first… check your partner out… You don't know where they have been. Do you really want to catch something that can kill you just for a little pleasure that doesn't last very long?

Note: I used Encarta to help me as research for this chapter. They own the information; I don't. So don't use. I also don't own Seventeen. All right are reserved to them. I did not use plagiarism. I don't own the sites nor the information I got from them. (Don't own the myth)

Where I Got My Information: August 2003 addition of Seventeen and Encarta

Sites (With out spaces): ht tp/ww w. m-w. co m/; ht tp//w ww.rap evi ctimad voca tes. org/

This Is It

By MoshiMoshiQueen

Beta Reader: Hana No Tenshi

Informational Advice Contributor: TamChronin

Thoughts

"Talking"

(Author Talking)

That Morning

"Syaoran?" Sakura said her voice on the brink of tears.

"What's wrong, Sakura?" He said waiting outside the bathroom door, "You're not bleeding are you?"

"No, no it's not that. But, this might sound weird, but it really hurts to go to the bathroom. It burns."

"Burns? Sakura, did you get checked out?"

"Checked out?"

"For things like herpes? When you went to see if you were pregnant?"

"No, no I didn't check. I didn't think. I wasn't thinking. Do you think I have herpes?"

"No, but it wouldn't hurt to get you checked out."

Doctors Office

"Ms. Kinomoto it seems that you have a mild case of Gonorrhea."

"Gonorrhea? It can be cured, right?"

"Yes, with a few antibiotics. It's a good thing you caught it early. In some cases if Gonorrhea isn't treated it can result in a female become sterile. It also might have resulted in other things such as arthritis and heart inflammation."

"Sterile, as in I wouldn't be able to have any children in the future?" Sakura chocked out, unconsciously placing her hand on her stomach.

"You are pregnant. Isn't that right, Ms. Kinomoto?"

Sakura hesitated as Syaoran took her hand in his rubbing her knuckles slightly. "She is pregnant."

"The baby might have eyes defects, but there is a good chance it will not."

"Eye defects?"

The doctor nodded. "I prescribe Ciprofloxacin. Take it two times a day, once in the morning and once at night. You might have discharge for a couple of days. The medicine will help cure that, and it will cure the burning when you urinate. Thank your body, Ms. Kinomoto. If it didn't burn then you might have had some serious problems."

"Thank you, doctor," Syaoran said shaking his hand.

"Come, on Sakura-chan," He said helping her up.

"You can pick up the medication at the front desk."

"Thank you again, doctor."

"Ms. Kinomoto, you need to keep checking in with your doctors. It might be vital. If you start feeling worse, please come in."

"I'll make sure she does," Syaoran said picking up her jacket, and wrapping it tightly around Sakura.

The doctor watched them leave. "So young and pregnant."

"I'll pay you back for the medicine, Syaoran."

"There's no need, Sakura."

She turned her head, and looked out towards the sky.

"Sakura, do your parents know where you are?"

"They think I am spending the week with Tomoyo."

"Sakura, I don't mean to push, but-"

"I have to wait a few weeks. The doctor said it would be safer to- it would be safer the first trimester. That means I have less than twelve weeks to decide."

"Sakura, I-"

"Some people cause their own miscarriages. Did you know that? They purposely do things, like fall down the stairs, to kill their own child. Sierra did that. You know the head cheerleader? She caused her own miscarriage. I want to say she is different than me, but-"

"She is different, Sakura. Sierra is using abortion as a birth control, and that isn't right. That isn't what abortion is made for."

"How much is it different?"

"You didn't have a choice; she did."

"It doesn't feel different," Sakura said placing her hand upon her stomach, and once more looking out the window.

Syaoran knew she didn't want to talk, but she needed to talk. He needed to keep her talking.

"Did you and your doctor talk about the methods?"

"I can take some pills, but only in the first seven weeks. I would first take the RU-486 pill and then take Misoprostol forty-eight hours later. It will result in my body to expel the fetus. I can also take a shot of Methotrexate a week later I take Misoprostol, which again expels the fetus."

Sakura paused for a moment. "I could also use either preemptive abortion, early uterine evacuation, Vacuum aspiration, D&C (Dilation and curettage), D&E (dilation and evacuation), induction abortion, Hysterectomy or Intact dilation and extraction." (Definitions of terms at the end of chapter)

"The pills would be easier," Syaoran said turning left at a stop sign towards his apartment building.

"They all seem easy don't they? And the result is killing a child."

"I'm not sure what you want me to tell you, Sakura."

"I'm not sure either. Should I be making this choice for my child? He or she doesn't have a choice… it seems unfair."

"Sakura, children never really have choices until they are a little bit older. When they are babies they need you to make the decisions."

"They need me… to decide for them. Even if it means life or death?"

"I can't answer that for you. You need to make this decision for yourself."

He parked his car, and sat there for a moment. "Do you want some ice cream? I could use some about know."

Sakura's face slightly brightened up. "Yeah, that would be great."

"Here try it. It's good I promise," Sakura said holding out her ice cream for Syaoran to try.

He raised his eyes brows. "What's in it?"

"Ice cream stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Syaoran, I did not put poison in it. Now eat it. Please?" She made a pouty face, and he gave in.

"You do that on purpose," he said trying some of her ice cream.

"I know," she said happily.

"Hey, this is good."

"Told you so. Hey, lets go walk on the board walk," she said running a little ways.

Syaoran smiled. "Good to see you happy, Sakura."

"Come on, Syaoran. It will- ah, hey Tomoyo."

"Sakura, what are you doing here? I thought you were sick."

"Um well you see-"

"The doctor said to get some fresh air and take some pills remember?" Syaoran said coming up to her.

"Um yeah. Fresh air does wonders, eh?"

Tomoyo narrowed her eyes. "Fresh air, huh? Li Syaoran, right? How do you know what her doctor said?"

"He met me there. See he had a little cold," Sakura said quickly.

"Cold, huh?"

"Yeah, so what are you doing here, Tomoyo?"

"I'm out with Saito."

Sakura stepped back a little. "Saito? He's here?"

"Why wouldn't he be? He is my boyfriend."

Sakura's hand started to shake. "Um yeah. Well, it was nice seeing you. Syaoran can you give me a lift? I think I've had enough fresh air."

Syaoran looked at her; knowing something was wrong. "Sure. Nice seeing you, Daidouji-san."

"Same, Li-san."

Tomoyo watched them leave, as Saito hugged her from behind. "Hey, babe."

"I just saw, Sakura and Li."

"Sakura was with Li?"

"Yeah, it was weird. She stopped hanging out with him years ago, and now she said she met him at the doctors' office.'"

"She was at the doctors?"

"Yeah, she was sick the other day."

Saito spun her around harshly. "She tell you about it?"

Tomoyo struggled a little. "No, just that he said to get fresh air. Would you stop? You're hurting me."

He loosened his grip. "Sorry."

"What has gotten into you lately?"

He shook his head. "Nothing… nothing."

End of chapter… I was going to end it when she ran into Tomoyo, but decided not to. So now you all have a few things to think about… Saito??? Hmm interesting?

"Things are never what they seem to be."

Definitions (Amazing how you need a dictionary to look up the words in the definition of the word you were looking for in the first place.)

Gonorrhea: a STD that is inflammation of the genital mucous membrane caused by gonococcus. Can result in sterility

- Mucous Membrane – mucous in thin sheets or layers (ex. in the nose)

- Gonococcus – a type of bacteria

- Sterility: meaning you can't make children

Trichomoniasis: a STD that results in discharge, because of trichomonad that may also enter male urethra and bladder.

- Trichomonad - A protozoan parasitic that's mostly in animals

- Urethra - canal that carries urine to the bladder. Also in a male serves as a genital duct

- Genital – a sexual organ

- Duct – bodily tube or vessel that carries a substance

Chlamydiae: a gram-negative intracellular bacterium that causes various diseases of the eye and urogenital tract. Can result in PID, pelvic inflammatory disease, (which happened to my mother. She got Chlamydiae and then got a PID)

- Gram-negative – not holding a purple dye

- Intracellular – functions in a cell

- Bacterium – plural of bacteria

- Urogenital - organs that deal with reproduction

-

Syphilis: a contagious venereal disease caused by spirochetes. If left untreated produces chancres, rashes, and systemic lesions. It is in three stages; Primary Syphilis, Secondary Syphilis, and lastly Tertiary Syphilis.

- Venereal Disease: result of sexual contact

- Spirochetes: spirally bacteria

- Chancres: a sore or ulcer

- Ulcer: break in skin results in pus

- Systemic Lesions: abnormal change in body systems (ex. Skeletal system)

- Primary Syphilis- first stage of Syphilis; this stage is when spirochete tissue is spread through out the body.

- Secondary Syphilis- second stage of Syphilis; 2 to 6 months after infection has started. Person starts to have lesions mostly in the skin, but also in the tissue and organs. (Lasts for 3 to 12 weeks)

- Tertiary Syphilis- last stage of Syphilis; person stops symptoms of second stage and starts to get ulcers and gummas under the skin. (Mostly in skeletal, cardiovascular, and nervous systems.)

o Gummas: tumor that's rubbery

o Cardiovascular System: involving the heart and blood vessels

o Nervous System: controls all nerves in your body

§ Nerves: bands of nervous tissue (let you know if your hurt, hot, cold etc)

Herpes: skin eruptions, such as blisters, caused by herpesviruses. Two types of herpesviruses; herpes simplex and herpes zoster (You should look at some of the pictures… really sick. Hope you guys don't get Herpes… Really I'm serious. The pictures are making me want to lose my lunch.)

- Herpes Simplex: caused watery blisters on the skin or mucous membrane (mouth and lips)

- Herpes Zoster: AKA Shingles. Is caused by the same virus as chicken pox, and caused rashes that cause pain. (Really gross…)

Genital Warts: transmitted by the human papilloma virus during sexual contact, grow on the penis and in and around the entrance to the vagina and anus.

- Anus: opening of the alimentary canal

o Alimentary Canal: tubular passage that extends from mouth to anus and functions in digestion and absorption of food and elimination of residual waste

AIDS: Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome: Human viral disease that ravages the immune system, leaving the body too weak to defend itself from infection and disease. (Mostly commonly known STD) If you catch AIDS you will mostly likely DIE, painfully.

Hepatitis B Virus: caused inflammation of the liver, and can cause cancer of the liver.

HIV: Human Immunodeficiency Virus: a disease that leaves a person vulnerable to life-threatening infections.

Early Uterine Evacuation: A cannula is put in the uterus and a suction device, such as a syringe, and the uterus and fetus is extracted.

- Uterus: a female organ used to nourish young during development of birth. (Also called a womb)

- Cannula: small tube used to insert into the body

- Syringe: device used to inject or withdraw fluid

- Fetus: unborn child (mostly called this in the first three months)

Preemptive Abortion: Is the same as an early uterine evacuation, but a smaller cannula is used, and it is done in the first four to six weeks of pregnancy.

NOTE: They are done mostly in a few minutes. Preemptive abortion can result in infection. Early Uterine Evacuation can result in heavy bleeding days after the procedure.

Vacuum Aspiration: done in the 6th to 14th weeks of pregnancy. The cervix is dilated and then a cannula is inserted, and is hooked up to electrically powered pump, which then removes the fetus.

- Cervix: narrow outer end of uterus

D&C: Dilation and curettage: performed during the 6th and 16th week of pregnancy. The cervix is dilated and then the uterine lining is scarped with a curette.

- Curette: device that has a hoop, ring, or a scoop attached to it.

D&E: dilation and evacuation: after 16 weeks of pregnancy. Requires a suction device, a large curette, and a grasping tool called a forceps to remove the fetus. D&E is complicated, because size of the fetus and thinner walls of the uterus. Bleeding often occurs.

Induction Abortion: 16th and 24th weeks of pregnancy. Amniotic fluid is withdrawn and replaced with another fluid. 48 hours later the fetus begins to contract and then expel. If you choose to do this procedure you would have to stay in the hospital a few days.

- Amniotic Fluid: the fluid that surrounds the fetus

Hysterectomy: the uterus is cut open and the fetus is removed. Results in sterilization. Most women have a hysterectomy because of illnesses or diseases.

Intact dilation and extraction: AKA partial birth abortion: partially removing the fetus from the uterus through the vaginal canal, feet first, and using suction to remove the brain and spinal fluid from the skull. The skull is then collapsed to allow complete removal of the fetus from the uterus.

( I actually haveto study a few of these diseases in uni ...lol biology does suck when pictures of these are involved... trust me not a pretty sight. Off to do the last one ...this one was great as well...nice going with the adding of the Saito part right at the end,... what a bastard and SAkura cant tell tomoyo ...but if she does will tomoyo believe her or not? HMM I wonder)


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